:: The Blurst of Times ::
"I was never one for patience, I was never one for trust. I'm a little bit neurotic so ignore me if you must." -- Strung Out| :: The Dailies :: |
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| :: archive :: |
:: 4.16.2006 ::
Ten Days Away, or Feeling like Fish, or This One’s for You, Tex
So, it’s been a while… How’ve you been? I’m doing alright, you know, can’t complain. I apologize for being away for so long… I would like to say that I was busy or that I was getting something really big taken care of; that maybe I was off saving the world, or teaching impoverished children, or even helping old ladies cross the street. But that would all be less than true… a lot less.
Without delving into the details of what has been happening for the last 360 days, suffice it to say I’ve learned a lot. I’m sure in time I’ll get to all the stories, but for now I would just like to speak about the last ten days.
When I was in school I used to get pretty stressed out about stuff and really not ever notice it until after the project was done and I could relax again. Then suddenly I would feel the lack of the weight and it was fantastic. The whole issue was that the stress would build up so gradually that I’d never notice it was there.
For the last year I have been kind of bored. It started with the occasional bout of ennui and it has just grown and grown until I was just plain flat-lining. And the worst part was that I had no idea it was happening. Well, that’s not entirely true. I knew I was bored, I knew I needed a break, I knew that something had to give because I was to the point were I wasn’t even motivated to change my station. So I went on vacation.
I flew out east to see what world was passing me by, if any at all. And I think I learned a lot. I learned that there are still things that inspire me and they aren’t always what I’m expecting. I learned that sometimes I have a hard time not being busy and I should probably do a better job of keeping things in perspective – aggressive climbing cannot come at the expense of things that I value. I learned that some of my best thoughts come when I’m least expecting them; that sometimes my best thoughts never make it to my mouth, and some of my worst thoughts do far too quickly; that sometimes my best thoughts are only half-formed in my head and there needs to be a lot more discussion for those thoughts to develop. I learned that people will forever have their own lives and be their own people and sometimes you just can’t get parallel to that, no matter how hard you try.
The bottom line is that I have been reinvigorated. I’ve learned a lot about myself that I hope will be apparent in the coming days and months. I feel like I have a better perspective on what I am doing, what I want to do, and what I’m capable of doing. I know of places I want to go, experiences I want to have. In some ways I have tested my limits or seen myself in a new light. But most of all, I have taken the opportunity to step outside of my life and in doing so can see the forest, not just the trees.
Mounds of gratitude go out to everyone who let me crash on a couch or a floor, use their shower, bought me a drink or a dinner, and took some time out of their lives to show me around a bit. In more ways that I could ever tell you it’s always a blast.
“I feel so out of context, in this gaudy apartment complex. A stranger with a door-key explaining that ‘I’m just visiting’…”
:: Freddy F. at 11:47 AM [+] ::
Comments:
and he's back...gonna make it out to boston on your next excursion? until then I'll keep checking in
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