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:: 10.24.2004 ::
Foodage
Frozen dinners are the worst food in the world. People eat them all the time for lunches at work. There is an entire aisle dedicated to them at the grocery store. There must be about a dozen well-known brands out there and each on has about thirty choices. This would lead you to think that there is a market for frozen dinners out there, which in turn would lead you to believe that they are actually a decent purchase. No. Much like the reality TV phenomenon that is [still] enthralling America, mass consumption does not correlate to quality.
Falling sucker to this seeming logic of demand, I bought a bunch of frozen dinners. A week or so ago, I had the veal parmesan. I like veal, I like spaghetti, I like green beans. I like putting something in the oven and having a hot meal forty minutes later. I took a bit of the spaghetti - not bad, not Prego and certainly not homemade, but definitely going to do the job. Green beans - acceptable, a little pepper, a little Tabasco, we were rollin. I tried the veal - wretched. Absolutely horrible. Couldn’t swallow the bite. Ate everything but it and threw it out. And I don’t throw out food, but I don’t believe that qualified.
Couple days later, tried another. Disgusting. Aside from yams, the worst ‘food’ I have ever put in my mouth. How do people eat these? I don’t consider myself a food snob, or even all that picky (fall of 1999, yeah, I was pretty picky - by the spring of 2000, I would eat about anything - reason for the change? Dorm hotdogs, if you can eat those, you can stomach about anything), but this was just undoable. It didn’t help matters that I was forced to eat this beef stroganoff frozen dinner with chopsticks as all my forks were in the dishwasher. But now I have four more frozen dinners in my freezer. What do I do with them? Cook them and eat around the meat? Throw them out? Donate them to the homeless (if I do this should I also donate a microwave)? Dig a hole and bury them in my backyard? Mail them to you? I’m the kind of person who can’t justify buying more food until I have eaten what I already have. So until these four little green boxes are out of my freezer, I’m not going grocery shopping. Damn you Healthy Choice - damn you and your 1800 mg of sodium per serving.
And speaking of relatively disgusting, I’ve eaten Doritos my whole life and only now am catching on to the fact that there are only two flavors: cheese and cool ranch. Every other flavor they tell you about is simply a combination of these two original flavors. Think of them as the colors red and blue, and all other Doritos as shades of purple. I tried a bag of Pepper Jack Flavored Doritos, thinking that this would be a nice spicy choice. Not really. I would say three parts cool ranch, one part nacho cheese, then add twice the amount of flavoring as you would to a normal bag. It truly is a wonder that we live in an obese society because all the food we are surrounded by for the most part is just shit.
“I like food; food is good. Juicy burgers, greasy fries, turkey legs, and raw fish eyes...”
:: Freddy F. at 5:00 PM [+] ::
Comments:
Doritos: You are correct about their flavors, but I must say that the Guacamole favor is really frickin' good.
As for frozen meals, don't get sucked in! The only things in my personal opinion that tastes good after it's been frozen are 1) pizza, 2) egos 3) ice cream.
Here's a trick I learned: Make homemage pasta sauce on Sunday, then throughout the week, eat things that you can put it on: pasta, breaded chicken, egos, ice cream.
It's like getting the difficult part out of the way up front, and then basking in its glory for the rest of the week.
Pasta Sauce Recipe:
-Large Frying pan
-Olive Oil
-Garlic
-Onions
-Large can of crushed tomatoes
-Basil
-I don't know, maybe a little wine... some mushrooms... be creative.
As for frozen meals, don't get sucked in! The only things in my personal opinion that tastes good after it's been frozen are 1) pizza, 2) egos 3) ice cream.
Here's a trick I learned: Make homemage pasta sauce on Sunday, then throughout the week, eat things that you can put it on: pasta, breaded chicken, egos, ice cream.
It's like getting the difficult part out of the way up front, and then basking in its glory for the rest of the week.
Pasta Sauce Recipe:
-Large Frying pan
-Olive Oil
-Garlic
-Onions
-Large can of crushed tomatoes
-Basil
-I don't know, maybe a little wine... some mushrooms... be creative.
PS: I should qualify the previous by saying that I don't have time for my recommendation, but did do it once and found it quite fantastic.
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