:: The Blurst of Times ::

:: 9.06.2004 ::

Campaigning for the 21st Century

Here’s how it goes. Both the incumbent and the new guy are handcuffed together by their non-dominant hands. This seems to work out well (and easily enough) for a situation where one is left-handed and the other is right-handed. But if they both are right-handed (or, god forbid, left-handed) then that creates additional challenges for them to work through. And from the moment both declare their candidacy, they are handcuffed together. Always. They eat together, sleep together, shit together, everything. They have to campaign together. I see one of two situations resulting. Either the candidates will learn to get along with each other in a civilized fashion instead of volleying shots back and forth from behind ‘special interest groups’ smear tactics’ (the analogy is: remember how much easier it got to kill people when you could shoot a gun and didn’t have to be standing right near them to kill them). The second outcome is that both men would kill each other. Then, we’d have to find two new candidates and the same situation would be presented. Again, these two would either get along, or die, all while still vying for the same political office. Eventually, all the stupid fucks who are just downright mean would kill each other off and we’d finally get a race between two decent people.

To make it more fun, the wives would be handcuffed together, too. And they would have to constantly be standing (fighting, falling, wrestling) in a kiddie-pool filled with jello pudding.

“We can work it out...”

:: Freddy F. at 10:29 PM [+] ::

Comments:

I loved that episode of The State. Different characters of course.

# posted by  erin : 7:34 PM

 

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