:: The Blurst of Times ::

:: 7.01.2004 ::

Alright, so it's been a while.

And really, a lot has happened. Like a million things. Especially if you are thinking universally.

First and foremost: I am leaving Manhattan, Kansas on July 10th and relocating to Ann Arbor, Michingan on July 12th, with a slight layover in Omaha. This will mean a lot of big changes, like mostly where I live and thus, my phone number. So if you care to stay in touch with me, I have established a brand-spankin' new 1000 mb email address. That's right, I'm goin' G-Mail. You can get me at [my first name].[my middle initial which is A].[my last name]@gmail.com. See that. I'm beating the spam system. Yeah, they thought that they could get my email address from huge internet scans and send me all kinds of shit about bigger wangs, and hotter chicks, and cheaper mortgages. Fuck you, Spam. Fuck you and the horse you rode into town on, because I beat the system. From this email address, you will always be able to reach me.

To all who are concerned: I believe that early last week I saw Vince Lombardi riding his bike along Claflin. Upon reaching the intersection of Claflin and Denison, I believe I saw Vince Lombardi fall of his bicycle. I believe this because I saw him get up off the ground, look around sheepishly, and then begin riding his bike across Claflin. Where's your altruistic army now, vince, hmmm? Where's your United States to save your NRA-lovin' bitch ass now, vince? Hey Vince, go shave your head one more time, I think I'm seeing a bit of a shadow.

And while I'm just a ranting and raving over here, let's continue with an open letter to the people who make the New York Times Sunday Crossword Puzzle:

Dear People who make the New York Times Sunday Crossword Puzzle:

I would just like to inform you that you are fucking wrong. You hear that: wrong. You fucked up. Or you cheated. That's it isn't it? You fucking cheating sons of bitches, and I caught you it in you crack whore cheating bitches. As an answer to the clue "Neighbor of Neb." the correct answer cannot be "KAS". Kas is not a state. Kas is not the first three letters of a state. Kas isn't anything. If your clue was "Neighbor of Ner." or maybe "Neighbor of Nea" then "KAS" would be acceptable and I would acknowledge defeat and go on to the next puzzle. But no, you snivelling shits, you said "Neighbor of Neb" to which the correct answer is "KAN" But you fucked up, and you messed the crossword puzzle up, and tried to pass it off as a real word. So what else is there PWMNYTSCP? Is there really such this as an epee? What about ogee, or is that a mental concoction as well, you two-faced liars? For years now I have been admitting defeat to a superior intellect of yours, only to see it come crashing down in your faces like an intellectual tower of babel. I hope you relish the shit I've now drug you through.

PS: In an english crossword puzzle, I really think it is only acceptable to have say, 10% of the words in a foreign language. When I see six clues in a row that all require the knowledge of a language more familliar in Europe than in American, I start to think something shady's going on. And to ask for abreviations in foreign languages, well, that's just a little low.

Alright, now that I got that off my chest.

In conclusion I would like to welcome two new members of the Flextiming family. And by the way, Tex, if you think you're going to blog with the big boys and not slide the way of snance, you'd better hammer on that template of yours a bit. [Think: sustainabilty and design]

"As the coolness of the night reflected over the cobblestone roads and silence took over, he said "Do you know who the fuck I am..."
:: Freddy F. at 8:28 PM [+] ::