:: The Blurst of Times ::

:: 4.30.2004 ::

Alright - enough of this. Sorry I've been slacking about writing lately, but things have been a little rough. But maybe an end is in sight - here's a quick run-through of everything I think about these days.

1) Studio: Yes, I will get done - and yes, I will graduate. There was some times that I had my doubts, but in this last week I think I cinched it. It will require a lot of work - long long hours and days on end - seven days to be exact, as things are pretty much due on May 6th, at 4pm. Do-able. Very. Just gotta keep to it.

2) Employment: I'm wavering between wanting to be a landscape architect and being a model builder. I'm wavering between hoping for the job in New York or the job in Topeka, but that is about at the stage I'm at - hoping. These things are out of my hands - they said they need time to make a decision now, so I have no choice but to wait.

3) Health: No, I'm not going to die. Probably. It hurts when I swallow and when I breath. But I can live with that - for a couple weeks anyway, until I'm past all this studio stuff and can start sleeping good hours again. The muscular system is feeling better and the nervous problems have not recurred since the original (horridly painful) incident. Bones: still strong. And I finally shaved - the first I've felt clean in two weeks.

4) Money (read: Bills and Boy, I hope I get a signing bonus.): Grim. I'm at the point where I cant afford to skimp on things - I need to eat, need to produce the portfolio and overnight it if necessary, need to buy markers to finish my projects, need to make tons of prints just to get it done, etc. How much does a good healthy kidney go for these days?

So that's the gist of it. As of a week ago I was losing in both my Fantasy Baseball Leagues (by "losing" I mean "dead fucking last" [I ought to change my teams names to DFL]). You'll hear from me in a week.

"You and I should get away for a while. I just wanna be alone with your smile..."
:: Freddy F. at 12:06 PM [+] ::
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My body has fallen into a state of disrepair I would normally equate with small children in impovershed third-world nations. Digestive, respiratory, nervous, and muscular systems have all been affected one way or another. My skeletal system seems to be fine - thank goodness I drink that orange juice with vitamin C.

Someday all this stuff will be some good memories that I look back at and laugh. Yeah. Just like I look back at my senior prom and laugh about the girl that cried the whole way through.

Jeez.

"It's not supposed to be like this. Let's try to find a happy game to play..."
:: Freddy F. at 2:00 PM [+] ::
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To paraphrase: It's like an anger festival in my head, and everyone's invited.

Here's a brilliant idea: Let's take the people with the top six GPA's in the class and give them design awards. Because surely, if you have a high GPA, then you must be one of he best designers in the class.

Things to do this week: Draw master plan, render master plan, draw four perspectives, render four perspectives, thoroughly rehearse scene, write scene book, begin rehearsing next scene, draw two site sections, render two site sections, draw detailed section, render detailed section, outline final report, call firms in NYC & KC, set up trip to Chicago, print additional resumes and protfolio pages.

Character of the week: There is this kid in my studio who is endlessly humping chairs. He is usually wearing headphones at the time, so I can only image his chair-fucking fantasies involve good rhythm. Sometimes someone is even sitting in the chair he is humping, which I can suppose is some sort of anthro-furniture gang bang. But, it seems that when it is all said and done, this kid just really likes to fuck chairs.

"I wanna take you through a wasteland I'd like to call my home, welcome to paradise..."
:: Freddy F. at 11:16 AM [+] ::
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Things are really fucked up right now. Not like, "damn, I have a lot to do and I don't want to do it and if I don't bust my ass I'm going to fail senior design" fucked up, or even like "shit, I just backed into a lawyers really nice car and now I have to deal with that shit" fucked up. No, things are really fucked up. Fucked. Up.

And I have less than six weeks to get things unfucked.

And some people have it worse, no lie.

"As I went down in the river to pray, studyin' about that good ol' way and who shall wear that robe and crown - good Lord show me the way..."
:: Freddy F. at 11:03 PM [+] ::
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