:: The Blurst of Times ::

:: 4.30.2003 ::

See you later, you fucking counter, teach you to not go where I tell you to. Let the record show I was getting close to the big 1G when I gave it the axe.

Speaking of axe: Sorry, Bebop, but you had to go. No updates since February just won't fly around here.

I rode my bike for an hour tonight. That is one hour in the last eight years. I'm am saddle sore. So-o-o-o-o-o-ore.

"I dig pain. I feel it in my veins. The smashing, the crushing, the killing, the maiming, the giving and the getting and it all driving me insane. I dig pain..."
:: Freddy F. at 1:06 AM [+] ::
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So, Miss Aviril Levaigne (whatever, not sure of the spelling on that) was performing mere blocks from my office tonight. Bad night to have to work late, no respect for the working class those kids have. I'm really out on how I feel about this girl. I mean the elitist in me is saying that she (and "The Corporation") is destroying everything that punk stands for and wants to put a lead pipe through the head of the whole thing. On the other hand, the libertarian in me says that she is a toll, but that is her bag and who am I to bitch about it. I feel a little better about this latter option. However, I do not tolerate 16 year old kids tossing beer bottles at my truck and then flipping me off when I ask just what the fuck they think they are doing. If feel like an old guy sitting on his rocker in the front porch saying "You kids these days, you got no understanding of what it was like in my day. In my day we..." yada yada yada, whatever. Damn, no good kids, I hope they all get the clap.

"I was a young boy who had big plans, now I'm just another shitty old man..."
:: Freddy F. at 2:50 AM [+] ::
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Wow, two blogs in one day, I must be "on" something. And by "on something," I mean, drunk. And by "must be" I mean, "am."

Yeah, so I decided that I had spent a week not doing this paper. And during this week I was sober. So naturally, if I was not sober, the paper would get done. And... well, it's done. How 'bout that.

But also, a little something about Fox television:

1. There are no original comedies. Only new gimicks. Oliver Beane - what's that all about? Nothing. The whole thing is hackneyed, it's just "interesting" because it is set in the fifties. It's like someone redid I Love Lucy, only the parents sleep together and they say dammit.

2. The Simpsons, has achieve the impossible, and aged. While it was beleived that since they were cartoons they would be protected against the problems that face other TV shows: stars aging, getting into trouble, become "known" as that character, etc. The essence of the Simpsons was that they were every family and did things that every family does, experiences life from a "real" perspective. Now all they do is poke fun at pop culture and thus, themselves. It was good when they didn't know they were on TV. Now, they know, and that part isn't funny anymore. but they did just make fun of Blink-182, so they got that goin' for 'em.

Oops, sobering up. Back to the bottle...

"As I try to find a place to take a stand, only wind up sitting in this place again, with a Didjits song stuck in my head, trying to think I might have said..."
:: Freddy F. at 12:03 AM [+] ::
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Well, sorry to those 5,999,999,998 of you who did not get the chance to vote regarding my spectacular decision of what I should buy. But to the two of you who did: I may be both investing in a small independent film and sticking some of it into saving. And for the rest of you in suspense: the winner is... the bike. Yes, I am the proud owner of a new mountain bike. It was a close decision between the "cruiser" bike with one gear and a classic form, and the mountain bike with 21 gears and the utility of being able to be ridden anywhere.But, the lure of the mountian trails around here finally won out.

The part of being a working man that sucks the most is that I still have not finished school. In three days I am supposed to have a paper in the hands of my department head in Manhattan, Kansas., two thousand miles from where I now sit, staring at a computer screen and trying to motivate myself to write. I worked 145 hours in the last two weeks, handled projects worth more that my entire life, and made decisions requiring professional knowledge and expertise - to create a three page paper about my experience doesn't seem like something that I should be dealing with. But, I am just bitching - five days ago I was pissing about them giving me too much responsibility and work that was way over my head, now its just the opposite. I just need to knuckle up and write the damn thing. Still, I feel like pulling an RJP and just calling up ol' DanDon and telling him I'm just not going to be doing this paper.

Congratulations to Kevin Millwood - good D, buddy, good D.

"Back off your rules, back off your jive, 'cause I'm sick of not living to stay alive. Leave me alone, I'm not asking a lot, just don't want to be controlled..."
:: Freddy F. at 9:10 PM [+] ::
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So I have been really busy - like insane busy, like three straight nights of less that three hours of sleep busy. Like two days without eating busy. Like if I don't hurry up and get all this stuff done, I'm going to look like a fool in front of a bunch of architects, clients, engineers, and worst of all, my boss. So what do I do - bust my ass. Monday through Wednesday were 18 - 19 hour days. I had my weeks 40 hours done by WEdnesday morning at 4 am. Now, after 65 hours, 6 meetings, 2 presentations, 5 projects, and endless phone calls, emails, change orders, and almost a whole roll of trace, I am done. Pooped, beat, but not beaten. I have triumphed over the likes of Grass Lawn Phase 2, MultiCare, Ellensburg City Hall, and Northeast Library, and now have the chance to catch up. So lets catch up.

Chronologically: Monday morning I realized that I was in shit up to my eyes with a certain project. The architects were losing faith in my company, my boss was losing fiath in me; my world was collapsing and I had no idea what was going on. I've been thrown into a situation being a project manager, managing projects that I have no more than 2 months background on, projects that are worth around a sum of 3 million dollars, projects that involve doxens of people and groups, and projects that should be mangaed by people who have many many years of experience in this field, not necessarily by people who have yet to graduate college. But here I am. And lord knows I was never one to turn down a challenge, not matter how ill-prepared I may be. In anycase, I spent almost 40 hours trying to catch up, fix up, and not further fuck up this project; finally I got what done I needed done, moved on to some other things, spent another late night, and finally got it all done - or at least contained to some degree. All in all it's a weight off my back.

So with that out of the way: This movie, I guess it's going to be all the rage. And rightly so because it's excellent. Actually, I haven't seen the movie. "But Fred, how can you know what the movie is going to be like if you have never seen it?" you say as you furrow your brow in a fruitless attempt to grasp the situation. Because I have read the book. That's right kids, I was the only person on gods green earth who know what they meant when they said this in the commercial. I was in on the fucking ground floor on this one - like freshman year ground floor. Booyeah. Booyeah, indeed.

So I have this issue, since I work so much, eat so little, and have no one to really spend my money on out here iwth me, that I have a lot of moey accruing at a pretty decent pace. I need to buy something - something kind of substantial, something I wouldn't normally buy. In the past I have purchased such items as: a quess sized bed, a digital camera, plane tickets, and a set of drums. Things on my list to buy include: an electric guitar, a new bike, a new stereo system. But I can't decide. I even went out and looked tonight for something and still couldn't figure out exactly what I wanted. So I want people to email me to let me know what I should boost the economy with. Maybe it's even something as practical as paying down some of my car debt, stocking some into a savings account, or donating it to a charity (if you suggest this, please specify the charity). But really, think fun, for my sake. So let me know what you think I should do. Polls will close Sunday morning at 12am PDT - I hope this works for me better than it did for him.

And related to spending money: I found out there are batting cages near my house out here, so I went out tonight and bought a baseball bat. A classic wooden, Louisville slugger, 34oz. So I buy it and while exiting through the front door, a guy cuts in front of me, bums into me, and says "Watch it, clown" and I ahve to stop to think for a moment. I am walking out here, carrying a baseball bat, an object that has been used millions of times in very aggressive action, sometimes even on other human beings. And it's not like its in a bag or a box or antyhing. I'm just carrying it around - in my swingin hand, nonetheless.And this guy is telling me to watch it? I have been in very few situations in my life were I held such an obvious upper hand. And after breifly reflecting the possible outcomes of braining this man int he doorway of sports authority, I simply smiled to myself and walked into the night.

Well I think that's everything. I hoep everyone is enjoying watching the cherries bloom - I sure am.

"I've got: pockets full of kleenex and lint and holes where everything important to me just seems to fall right down my leg. And onto the floor. My closest friend linoleum..."
:: Freddy F. at 12:43 AM [+] ::
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Just in case anyone forgot: Weren't there supposed to be very deadly weapons of mass destruction in Iraq? Wouldn't they tell us if they found these weapons? Where's the weapons, Mr. Bush? Justify your actions, dear sir.

And the current state of society: not really suprising. This show, Mr. Personality, supposed to be all about not chosing a mate because of their looks. But why is anyone going to watch the show - because the punchline is when she falls for a guy who looks like Vance Colvig, Jr. But no, we're really supposed to believe that Fox now cares about more than huge boobs.

But maybe the real joke is that everyone is okay iwth the fact that we are superficial and vague and reckless and careless - maybe no one cares that four thousand years of meticulously preserved artifacts will be lost forever - maybe no one cares that thousands will die to boost the ego of a little bully from texas - and maybe no one cares that we really want to see either two hot people be miserable together or a good looking girl find herself stuck with an ugly guy. Maybe there just isn't the demand to be more than shallow anymore.

But in the meantime - yeah, he has liked the spurs for a very long time now. And just for the record, fifteen years from now when the Mets finally put a decent team together, he has liked them forever too.

And on a very high note - I had a swell weekend with my sister, touring and flitting around the Seattle area, so I'd like to thank her for making the trek out here and for having a good time listening to me drone on about the merits of artificial turf fields.

"And told me 'never think twice. You can't second-guess how to live your life..."

:: Freddy F. at 11:58 PM [+] ::
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Yeah, I'd say I was dead fucking right about that poor sucker in Nebraska. Would you like some freshly grated pepper on those words, sir. Just like to say "I called it."

I'm tired, so I'm going to bed. I'll write more later.

"I'll bring home the bacon bits. We'll make my parents grandparents. I'll take you our for breakfast at night, and then we'll go to sleep..."
:: Freddy F. at 1:34 AM [+] ::
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Alright, first, before I forget, I just read this blog - it was on the "recent posts" list and it had "Nebraskan" in it, so I thought I would check it out. This kid is a punk fucker. I thought my senior prom went poorly...? This kid's going to be in for a shitty spring by the sound of it. For some reason I am a lot more nostalgic about my high school days, than it seems like he will be. And I couldn't have even told you if anyones breasts were real when I was a sophomore. So everyone who shares a little "Nebraskan" in them should check out this kids site before Saturday. [omitting obvious joke about my old lady here]

But, in the meantime, I seem to be out of the slump a little. A couple late nights at the office seem to have brought me around a little bit - unfortunately, putting design into AutoCAD isn't quite the same as the actual act of designing, but for the moment, it's payin the bills. So thanks to those of you who had suggestions on how to pull my ass off the couch - maybe I'll hit up that coffee shop after all.

Just to let you know that I am doing very well out here and really taking care of myself, I will let you in on my grocery list:

Squirt
Henry Weinhard's Private Reserve Amber Ale
Nestle's Crunch Ice Cream Bars
Applesauce
Doritos
Fritos
Easter Candy (spec. York Peppermint Patties and Whoppers)

And while we're on the topic of food, just so you know Doctor and Ms. Garbo I still have a whole gallon of milk, a whole box of corn puffs cereal, a whole loaf of bread, and four chicken breasts from a month ago that *gasp* never got eaten. Now I have to throw away food and feel like a jackass.

"Somethings keep me goin', but I got no one to blame. Five o'clock is comin', do you feel the same? When the lonely whistle calls out your name..."
:: Freddy F. at 11:45 PM [+] ::
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Man, I'm fucking glum. I'm in a rut, I'm bored, without direction, and overall just spinning in oblivion. I need to built, design, create, I need a project, something dynamic to move me. I feel like I have all this energy and no place to put it. It's like muscle that if you don't work it, it just turns to fat - well all my creative energy is turning to some sort of gelatinous sludge somewhere underneath my liver, causing me do be able to do nothing other than go to work and watch the M's. I can't even finish the movies and books I'm starting. Nothing. I'm stuck.

But thanks to everyone who called this weekend - it was almost record breaking the number of people I talked to. You all rock.

And at this point in time I am going to blatantly give the bandwagon the ol' bird finger in the face - the Royals suck. Bring those bitches out here to the West Coast and my M's will show them the true meaning of "thank you sir, may I have another." Hmmm, that trash talking felt good - am I just lacking competition in my life.

Yeah, something is missing - I wonder what it is. I have a feeling it isn't on TV - I should stop watching so much - it's fucking addictive, I'm stuck in a groove of Simpson's/King of the Hill until 7 and then the M's until 10, then cartoon netwrok crap and metal videos until I loaf off to bed. I need a swift kick to the nuts of my energy and start moving.

In the meantime, I think my digestive track is really fucked up. Ugh.

"Nothin' seems much fun anymore to me. Don't feel like goin' out, nothin' worth singin' about, missing the alcohol..."
:: Freddy F. at 7:19 PM [+] ::
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I am many Ben Folds songs. Not a one of them happy.

"It was pain, sunny days and rain. Who knew you'd feel the same way?"
:: Freddy F. at 8:53 PM [+] ::
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So what is up with this show 24? It used to be I was able to "follow" the story line by seeing the commercials - understanding what had happend the week before by the commercials for the upcoming week. And a while back Kiefer was supposed to die and I was truly intrigued at how they were going to keep the show going for another half-season without him. Then I see a commercail today and he is alive. What happened? Was it a simple jump-out-of-the-crashing-plane-and-miraculously-live kind of thing? Some one let me know - I just got through all the Sopranos, I don't have time for two whole seasons of 24.

And now, as I am watching "extreme metal" or whatever on M2 I am discovering the root of my dislike for a lot of the metal that is coming out these days. It's too glam. It seems like we've gone back to the day of big hair, tight pants, and tattoos determining how successful the band is going to be. The best metal acts around today: System of a Down, Godsmack, Tool, Thumb, downset, etc - these are all bands you couldn't pick out if they were walking down the street. Not that Marylin Manson didn't have his better points, but I am afraid the whole glam thing lost him a lot of credibility. Maybe the underlying theme is that you can't dress up good music - it all comes from the heart anyway, it;s just the best stuff you can really hear that heart. And it doesn't hurt to have your video directed by Darren Doane.

Coming soon: Conscientious objector meets conscientious nihilist...

"Trying to break ground with everything I've got to show - 'cause if there's one person on this Earth I've got to please, it's me not you..."
:: Freddy F. at 2:22 AM [+] ::
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Okay, so if I like breasts, then Mr. Tom Robbins really likes vaginas. Apparently, in his mind, the solution for Cowgirls who get the Blues is a lot of sex and celebration of sex. And big thumbs. I think that was metaphorical for something... where's Mrs. Baine when I need her.

In the meantime, on a more serious note, someone I work with in my office (there are only seven of such people) got fired last week. This was a little disconcerting, on about the same level as the time I took my construction crew chief to court - where he was tried, sentenced, and led off to jail for the next three months. Granted, there were differences between this office enployee and the office owner, in personality, professional practice and the like, but I've only been there one-tenth of the time she had been, and I screw up too, so should I be worried about my job? I get the impression, no. But still, because of my new arrival did I contribute to or hasten this departure? The week prior there was a lot of work that bottlenecked at me (mostly through my own fault) and she was "detained" by the boss to come in late to get things done. Not that she cleaned up my mess, but she did help. I feel better because she currently had two offers out on the table for other jobs - I find solace in this. I'm just treading in some pretty deep waters at work, doing all I can to keep the head above water. Thank god baseball season has started.

But with TV baseball comes commercials. And I am sick of commercials. These movie commercials are killing me. Fuck being in phonebooths, fuck having "ten fingers and ten toes," fuck being a little cinderella princess, fuck being a novel black man running for president. These car commercials are killing me - is anyone that stupid to buy a car for any single reason that they are giving us in these ads. Obviously, people must be or else they wouldn't be showing them, but seriously why can't these people fall into the sea and drive to Atlantis and get the commercails there and just leave me alone. [On a related note: If you have purchased a Hummer, Suburban, Tahoe, Excursion, or alternate luxury "SUV" and you have purchased it because no other vehicle will take you offroad with as much capability as that particular vehicle, please let me know because I will personally send you one thousand dollars. If you have purchased it because you really have no dick, then just sit back and relax because you have now all but tattooed it on your forehead and your message is more than clear to all the rest of us.] The only commercial that I actually respect these days is the one for the Women's Final Four that has that song that says "I-I-I-I-I-I am a giant!" and has that UConn girl flexing because she could very much kick my ass. Good for her.

"Code red, code red: because this rocket heart's on fire..."
:: Freddy F. at 1:50 AM [+] ::
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